The Perpetual, Possibly Futile, Search For Work/Life Balance

Readers of this blog will know that I have been looking for my ‘forever job’ for a few months now. Although I am currently working, it isn’t full time, so I have been getting into the groove of  a slower pace. Yet I am surprised at how busy life still feels. A few reflections on what that so called slower pace looks like.

Life is simpler. Because I don’t have money to splash around, I am conscious of not spending unnecessarily. Apart from a couple of times, this has generally made life a whole lot simpler. I am spending way less time agonising over what to buy, how much to spend and whether I need one or two of something. The default answer is ‘no’ and it saves a lot of mental energy. When I do spend money, I really relish it as something special, even if it’s just a muffin as well as a coffee. I’m also doing quieter things, like staying home and reading, and the extra time to read has been such a beautiful gift. I have read more in the last six months than I have in the previous 3 years.

If you don’t have a lot of money, then as long as you have plenty of time you will probably rub along without too much trouble. A large part of why I feel so busy is because a couple of my key cost-saving measures have meant a big increase in time commitment. They’ve actually both been wonderful, joyful things to do and I am sad to think of them ending, as I know they inevitably will. The first has been dropping paid child care and spending crazy, messy fun times with my toddler. The second has been to reduce online grocery deliveries and visit the market once or twice a week. Since we are car-free this is a bit of an expedition, but something I love and find incredibly rewarding. 

So far it’s all sounding pretty damn ideal, right? Time to read and drink tea in bed (which I’m doing right now), time with a toddler, time to browse the fresh produce in the markets and dream up delicious things to cook… the problem is this tricky issue of balance. My life is actually a bit too placid. It’s not helped by the fact that my job, though wonderful and nourishing in many ways, is just a little too slow and easy for me. It’s nice for now but not forever. I actually need difficulty, I crave challenges and get extremely antsy when things are too easy. 


I am not sure there is such a thing as a perfect balance. And I'm ok with that. I think it’s one of those things that we constantly strive for, all our lives. And the striving and checking and measuring and adjusting is all a part of the big dance that is life.

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